SevenAcres Farm
1.) Only a true
Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption, and that
you don't
"HAVE" them, -- you "PITCH" them.
2.) Only a true Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc. make up "a mess."
3.) Only a true Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."
4.) Only a true Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is - as in: "Going to town, be back directly."
5.) All true
Southerners, even babies, know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a
request for the white, granular
sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl on the middle of the table.
6.) All true Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
7.) Only a true
Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor
who's got trouble is a
plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. (If the
neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know
to add a large banana puddin'!)
8.) Only true
Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and
"a right far piece." They also know
that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.
9.) Only a true
Southerner both knows and understands the difference between a redneck, a good
ol' boy, and
po' white trash.
10.) No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
11.) A true Southerner knows that "fixin'" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
12.) Only a true
Southerner knows that the term "booger" can be a resident of the nose,
a descriptive, as in
"that ol' booger," a first name or something that jumps out at you in
the dark and scares you senseless.
13.) Only true
Southerners make friends while standing in lines. We don't do
"queues", we do "lines,"
and when we're "in line," we talk to everybody!
14.) Put 100 true Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.
15.) True Southerners never refer to one person as "y'all."
16.) True Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
17.) Every true
Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly
wonderful;
that redeye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are
not a breakfast food.
18.) When you hear
someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin' .. ," you know you are in
the presence
of a genuine Southerner!
19.) Only true
Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea
indicates the need for sugar and lots of
it - we do not
like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want
buttermilk.
20.) A true Southerner
knows that if you are with a couple of friends you, you could be with 2 or 10.
The number doesn't matter.
21.) And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old
ladies who drive 30 MPH
on the freeway. You just say, "Bless her heart" and go your own way.
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